He Said Let There Be Light…

Bender Speaks With God In "Godfellas"

And there was light.

On the first day he brought forth 5 matches, 2 interested fellows, and 4 guys that just noticed or who were “nudged” in your direction.  Nudged is similar to “winking” on match.com or “poking” on facebook.   Basically being “interested” is more involved than being “noticed/nudged.”    However I believe being noticed is a lot less annoying and/or creepy; because  really, who wants to be poked/winked at  by a random person either virtually or in real life?  I know I don’t.

The second day he made the fizzle/sizzle meter because he knew this was an accurate, extremely scientific method to rating other human beings.  All  based upon the profiles the chemistry.com bot hands out  to you.  No , you do not search for your match.   He (chemistry.com bot) gives you only 5 profiles a day.  The profiles are supposedly compilable with your major/minor personality type (more on that later).   It’s basically a crap shoot and all the fizzlers are archived away never to be seen again.

The third day he proclaimed those who sizzle together become active together.    No, not sexually active, the chemistry.com bot  would not allow such  match making to happen so easily.  When you become active matches this  entails a grueling 3 step process that may or may not lead to the fun stuff.

Unlike on match.com where after all the winking has commenced  you can actually send an email (with a paid account of course) to the interested parties, chemistry.com, goes one step further (or should I say 3 steps back?).

1.) Relationship Essentials:  Basically just an assortment of scales gauging how important random rudimentary ideas are to you such as your  love of animals (no, I don’t particularly enjoy pets,and yes that makes me the spawn of Satan), interest in the arts/literature, an individual’s ambition, educational background, fashion sense, how organized you are, blah, blah.

2.) Short Answer (sounding more and more like a high school test uh?): You need to pick  2 random questions to ask your said active match potential datee and when you both have answered these pretty useless questions (what 5 items would you bring on a deserted island) you can compare/contrast move on to step 3.

3.) Email: It is full speed ahead from here I guess, depending on what boat you get on.  Take the helm and leave the chemistry.com bot behind.

Disclaimer:  You can abort the mission at any given step ( I have yet to do this, but I am sure it will happen eventually)

Next post day four and five:  entailing  the methods of  Dr. Helen Fisher(creator of chemistry.com), the 45 minute long questionnaire you must suffer through before you can post a profile on the website, and the etiquette of the first email (yes I believe there should be email etiquette).

The three step program say, nay?  Are we crazy for putting ourselves into all this?  Interesting email ideas?